LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE BIG CHRISTMAS WISHES

I recently spent time with a first-grade class that was made up of mainly low-income, Hispanic kids. The school was within a few miles of Atherton, one of the wealthiest neighborhood in California.

 

We were discussing the upcoming holidays and the students were expectedly shy when one boisterous boy yelped, “I can’t wait for Santa!” The climate immediately changed. All the students sparkled with thoughts and anticipation of Santa’s visit. Their lists to Santa included exactly what you would expect. One bright-eyed little girl requested a toy puppy for Christmas, which was followed by three other students promptly jumping up and exclaiming they wanted, “REAL puppies!”  A timid boy murmured he wanted a “pumcuter.” His neighbor quickly came to his aid articulating, “He means COMputer.” This gave rise to many requests for iPads and Xboxes. Two kids asked for Chapstick, causing me to notice many dry little lips. Other wishes by these wiggly, silly six year olds included a horse, a thousand dollars, and a fairy doll. One smiley, brown-eyed girl asked specifically for “a Hispanic fairy doll.” Every appeal was followed by nods and giggles.

Their desires were not exclusively self-centered. They also spoke of their hopes and desires for the people they loved, mom being at the top of the list. When talking about their families, they visibly became calmer and serene, many whispering their requests. The reverence for their families was palatable.

A student with special education needs wanted me to know he was very satisfied with his own situation but put in an appeal for his brother. "My Christmas wish is for Santa to bring my little brother presents because I already have enough." A little girl named Gabriella - she loudly spelled out her name so there was no confusion - wished that her sister could walk. I was struck with concern but my worries were assuaged when I discovered that Gabrialla’s sister just turned one.

Kaley wanted help for her mom, “so she could buy food.” Martin wanted to give his sister a necklace and Luis wanted a chair for his dad. Roberta wanted to help her mom make cupcakes and Alexander wanted to buy his mom flowers. Aylin, Alexa, and Maria all wanted a car for their moms.

Clearly these energetic, animated and bright young children have well thought out aspirations for themselves and their loved ones. These kids, who have very little, give to the world all that money can’t buy. I took with me their enthusiasm for life and optimism for the future and left feeling very much the spirit of Christmas. If you are in need of more holiday cheer and wish to be lifted to happy heights and filled with love and compassion, there is plenty to be had and it’s free for the taking. Simply talk to a child about their hopes and dreams.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

WAYS TO WANE THE WINTER DAYS

If you and your family are embarking on a Mediterranean cruise for the holidays, Bon Voyage! No need to read further. However, if you’re worried about the down time between family gatherings and wondering how to keep the kids out of trouble, here are a few educational and philanthropic pursuits.

First, check in with your child’s teacher to see if there is any extra credit or make up work to be done over the break. Often, teachers have ready-made packets for just such occasions. Even if the kids are pulling all A’s, going above and beyond the call of duty, especially scholastically, is a life skill that will no doubt pay off in the future. If there is a certain area of academic need, ask the teacher for specific supplemental material.

Make an “if bored” list, including assignments like: floors to mop, homework to complete, letters to write, people to call, neighbors to visit, books to read.

Ask the kids to take a walk around the neighborhood, playground, or church and pick up trash. For an entrepreneurial jaunt, hand out 25 cents for each piece of rubbish collected.

There are many benefits to learning a foreign language. It improves mental development, opens doors to other cultures, gives students a head start in language requirements for high school and college and increases job opportunities. You may consider buying language-learning software, or better yet, check out materials from your local library. There are also online sites that offer language assistance. Of course no one becomes fluent overnight, but the extra, unclaimed study time may be sufficient to peak interest in becoming bilingual.

Playing a musical instrument is also both good for the head and heart. If interest is aroused and ample practice time is available, playing may become an enjoyable habit. Even if your rock star wannabe does not become the next Bon Jovi, studies have shown that playing music can significantly enhance the brain.

Teens can start a temporary babysitting service. Call some working parents in the neighborhood and ask if they need help with the kids over winter break. A CPR class will compliment this endeavor. The American Heart Association website, www.heart.org has a list of classes, including ones online.

Volunteering is an opportune way to meet new people and develop new skills besides sending positive messages about taking part and giving back. For a plethora of groups in the Bay Area, go to http://www.volunteerinfo.org/.  Keep it simple and ask an elderly neighbor if they need help walking their dog, cleaning their yard, or grocery shopping. The local church or synagogue can also steer you in the right direction.

However you enjoy your holidays, I hope it includes both time with loved ones and learning. In the words of the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

THANKFUL FOR A MODERN DAY THANKSGIVING

Charles Dickens penned, “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many – not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

 The media often magnifies the doom and gloom of our societal issues and forecasts more hardship ahead. However, things aren’t ever as bleak as some would have us believe.

I say rebel against pessimism!  Let’s reflect and be contented with our bounty this Thanksgiving. From medicine to microwaves, modern conveniences have allowed us to live longer, work less, and have more time for leisure. We have come a very long way since the first Thanksgiving feast almost four hundred years ago!

It all started in the fall of 1621. The Plymouth colonist (Pilgrims) gathered to give thanks for their first harvest and for surviving their first dreadful winter in Massachusetts. And it was dreadful! Two or three Pilgrims died every day during the first two months they were in Plymouth. Four entire families were taken. Thirteen of the eighteen women died. There were no preventative flu shots, fever reducers, cough medicines, or hospitals to isolate and care for the sick.

The fortunate survivors were greatly aided by their newfound Indian friends. Many argue none would have survived without their help. It would be many years before the great friendship between the white European and the Indians would end.

Kids were not playing video games, watching TV, or texting their friends. Children as young as five worked from sunrise to sunset fetching wood, gathering water, and herding geese. Older children worked in the fields, harvesting and fertilizing new crops. Teenage boys helped with plowing and hunting while teenage girls took care of the infants, sewed, and cooked meals.

Pilgrim parents constantly corrected and disciplined their children. They thought the Native people were too lenient with their young.

If that’s not enough to make your kids fall to their knees in gratitude, tell them this. Both girls and boys wore dresses – full length dresses called gowns. And, they didn’t throw them in the washer and dryer after a hard days work. When they laundry, which was not very often, it was in a bucket of cold salt water.

Today many families celebrate Thanksgiving watching football and eating heaps of delicious food. Why not include some appreciative reflection. One way is to join the family together and create a thankful paper chain. It’s super easy. Just cut out strips of paper and connect them together as loops. 

Before linking them, write a grateful note on each. Brainstorm all the luxuries of modern life before having the kids write theirs. Once it’s finished, color it, glitter it up, and hang it over the door, or on the Christmas tree for a decorative reminder of our blessings.

I hope you and your family enjoyed a thankful, blessed Thanksgiving with all the trimmings and trappings of a modern day feast!

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

THANKFUL FOR REAL ROLE MODELS

Because of so-called reality shows that promote sex and selfishness and because of moronic pop stars like, Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and the Kardashians, I began to wonder, are youth today under the impression that these VIP impersonators are good role models? Could our sweet students discern the difference between true role models – hardworking parents, heroic firefighters, and our men and women in uniform - and the phony media-made caricatures that we are venerated on social media. 

I decided to conduct my own, very limited and informal research. I asked 30 eighth graders who they thought were good role models and I delightfully discovered that these kids got it! They know these false icons are not representative of their world. When asked who they look up to, not one tween chose a pretentious personality. Most chose their mom, dad or a sibling. All chose outstanding individuals with traits such as athleticism, helpfulness, and kindness. For example:

Kyle’s role model is his mom. “She is a preschool teacher and also has an engineering degree. I admire her for finding ways to solve problems that no one else can solve. She has managed to support us by herself. She is self-sacrificing, kind and brave.

Brittany has a number of role models but she “…aspires to be like Kate. Kate is in high school. She is an amazing soccer player, a great friend, and goes to church regularly.”

AnneMarie’s role model is Jenny Finch. “She was a softball player at Arizona State and went on to play for Team USA and she won many medals…I also admire her because she tries to be the best athlete she can be. She spends a lot of time helping children who can’t always afford to play softball.”

A young man of few words, Dominic, chose Albert Einstein. “He was a scientist. He was very smart. He helped us win World War II.

James selected his basketball coach. “He is extra special because he doesn’t do anything bad, like steal, smoke, or get into fights.”

Justin wrote pages about his brother Jason. “He has received athletic honors in basketball and track…He is also a very talented artist…He is very modest about the things he does. Besides being an athlete, he’s a great brother. He is kind and very soft spoken. Even though we fight a lot, there are more good times than bad. And at the end of the day, he is still my hero and role model.”

These young scholars have the sagacity to distinguish between true heroes and anti-ones. They remain optimistic and conscientious. Perhaps the media’s next reality star should not be an undernourished model or an immature washout from Jersey Shore. Perhaps the next reality show should be based on real heroes like Jason’s brother, Kyle’s mom or any number of hardworking parents who toil daily to make ends meat while reaming exemplars for their children.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

HALLOWEEN FACTS AND FICTION

Soon, ghost and goblins will be playing tricks and eating treats, prancing down neighborhood streets and causing chaotic fun with family and friends. Parents may have some apprehension about letting their little witches and warlocks roam the night because of the continual retelling of myths and urban legends surrounding Halloween.

Reports of razor blades hidden in apples and candy have been haunting parents for decades. These ridiculous and malicious rumors have caused many people to ban trick-or-treating and stop handing out candy treats altogether. The sad fact is the only cases of tampered-candy killing children on Halloween were of relatives poisoning family members on purpose.

I remember my own mom dumping our pillowcases of candy on the kitchen floor, putting on her gardening gloves and meticulously fanning the loot across the tile. She knelt over mini candy bars and popcorn balls, searching for evidence of tampered treats. Inevitably she threw out two or three pieces. I suspect now it was to assure herself that her efforts were not in vain.

Another common and misguided belief is that excess consumption of sugar-laden candy will make kids hyperactive. We can all agree that devouring mounds of sugar is not good for any of us. Candy is nothing but empty calories and eating too much can lead to bad eating habits, dental cavities and health issues. However, after countless studies, the American Medical Association has found that sugar in the diet does not affect children’s behavior. Most likely it’s not the sweets but the situation that causes kids to throw caution and parental imperatives to the wind.

While the sadistic tales of evil people poisoning our sugar-crazed kids are false, there are some real dangers that can easily be avoided.

We should be concerned about motor vehicle accidents. Roughly four times as many children aged 5-14 are killed while walking on Halloween evening compared with other evenings of the year.

Make sure drivers can see your child and vice versa. Give kids flashlights and glow sticks. Also, use makeup rather than masks so children have a clear, unobstructed view of their surroundings. Young trick-or-treaters should be accompanied by an adult and all should know to only cross at the crosswalks and stay on the sidewalk.

Nearly 6 million or 8% of children have food allergies. To be safe, hand out treats that are free of dairy, wheat and eggs - the most common food allergens. Some options include: Smarties, gum, mints, hard candy or jellybeans. Consider handing out trinkets such as stickers, pencils or coins. Enforce a ‘no eating while trick-or-treating’ policy and pass on candy and treats that do not have ingredients labeled.

To avoid eye injuries, cuts and bruises, use costume knives and swords that are flexible, not rigid or sharp and make sure children can walk comfortably in their costume.

 

Don’t worry about unknown or unfounded dangers. Instead, eat, drink and be scary while taking a few precautions to protect your children from the easily averted hazards.

           

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR THE KIDS

Trying to maintain happiness isn’t something new. Socrates attempted to define it, linking happiness to knowledge. Our Declaration of Independence gives us the right to pursue it and thousands of books have been written on how to obtain it, like, “The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living” by Dalai Lama and, “Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: The 9 Habits of Maximum Happiness” by David Leonhardt. We are obsessed with it, and it’s not a coincidence.

 

Researchers have found that happy people are more likely to have stronger immune systems, live longer, have better relationships, are more satisfied with work, have less depression and greater copying skills. 

Seems like a no-brainer to encourage our children to be happy, but how? I have found that happy students directly correlate to my own happiness as a teacher, so I have tried very hard over the years to keep my class in high spirits. Here are three sure-fire ways that have worked in my classroom and may work for you at home.

Praise

My teaching motto is “praise early and often.” I find if I give compliments generously and specifically, I have better management and many more smiles. Kids, even in middle school, adore gold stars for good behavior, happy face stickers on their homework and pats on their back for work well done. Many of my colleagues have adapted a similar creed, giving  “two compliments for every criticism.” You may want to up that ratio.

I also praise everyday accomplishments as well as the exceptional ones and scaffold my praise depending on student’s demeanor and academic standing. For example, some students receive praise for doing extra credit; others receive a commendation for making it to class on time.

Role Model

There are days I don’t feel like cheerily welcoming my students, but I fake it. I fake it for their sake as well as my own. When I’m happy, my students are happier, and when I’m cranky, for whatever reason, class can become a management nightmare. Students quickly become unresponsive and/or disruptive. So, if you’ve had a miserable day, conjure up a wonderful memory, plaster on a smile and try to fake your way to a harmonious night with the kids.

Eat and Sleep Well

Sleep, proper nourishment and happiness are highly connected. I know if I’m hungry, nothing else matters. Making sure kids eat something for breakfast and go to bed at a decent hour will help them focus in school which will lead to better grades, higher self-esteem and, you guessed it, more happiness.

Benjamin Franklin quipped, “The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”  Let this year’s resolution be catching some happiness and radiating it to the kids!

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.