PRACTICING SAFE TEXT

“Sexting” (sending sexually explicit messages or photographs from a cell phone) is not nearly as common as some may have believed. In fact, national surveys suggest that only 3 to 7 percent of teens are sending or receiving sexually graphic message or images. 

 

Reading this statistic, I was relieved but also a bit skeptical because telling the truth is not the first virtue that comes to mind when considering teens. However, it’s not important what I believe. The fact is, sexting is out there and has become part of today’s technically advanced world. So, parents need to understand the implications, collect information and be prepared to give advice about what to do if their child sends or receives a sexting image.

We would all like to believe that our kids are too naïve or too intelligent to get involved in such tawdry business, but the fact is, many, smart, well-educated and worldly people have participated in, and felt the repercussions of sexting. Just ask former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner or former Texas Congressman Joe Barton.

There can be serious legal implications. Anyone, including minors, who take nude or sexually implicit photos of themselves or someone else underage can be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. 

To be perfectly safe, kids should never take images of themselves that they wouldn’t want everyone – including classmates, teachers and their family to see. This does not only apply to cell phones, but any media-sharing device. Also, if your child receives a sext message, they should not send it to anyone or delete it. They should tell you or another trusted adult.

People aren’t always who they seem to be in cyberspace or in real life. And, relationships change over time so advise your kids to consider that when they press “send” they cannot control where their message may go. In other words, what they send to a boyfriend or girlfriend could easily end up with other friends, complete strangers, and potentially dangerous people.

All that being said, cell phones are not the devil’s handy work. In the event of an emergency, having a cell phone allows your child to contact you, the police or the fire department immediately.  You can also contact your child if there is a family emergency. Also, many phones are now equipped with GPS which will allow you to track your child’s phone, and hence, your child.

If you are not familiar with textonyms (acronyms used in text messaging) spend time with your son or daughter and ask them to show you how to decipher text message basics. Understanding sexting and discussing this dangerous trend is the first preventative step. 

Ronald Reagan adopted an old Russian proverb when discussing US relations with Russia – “Trust, but verify.” This may be the tactic you’ll want to employ when determining the relationships between your child and his cyber-safety.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

FOR DEAR OLD DAD

William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. He raised all six kids by himself on a rural farm in Washington State. While listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, his daughter Sonora realized her father deserved to be honored for his selflessness and sacrifice. So, on June 19^th, 1910, the first Father’s Day celebration was held in Spokane, Washington. In 1966, President Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3^rd Sunday in June as Father’s Day and President Nixon signed the law, which finally made it permanent in 1972.

This coming Sunday, Dad is officially the “head honcho, ruler of the roost, and king of the castle.” Today’s eclectic family dictates that the gifts and pleasures bestowed are not dependent on DNA. “Dad” is the man who lovingly and respectfully helps raise the kids. He’s the one who deserves all the honors, kisses and kudos, regardless of his official title.  

If money is not a concern, a weekend trip to Pebble Beach, or 49er season tickets are more than appropriate. If, however, your piggy bank is looking a bit emaciated, there are still ways to make his day - one he will remember with love and appreciation. And the best part, the kids do all the work!

Turn the lawn chair into a throne that puts within his reach everything he needs to be king for the day. Use clamps or tape to attach appropriate accessories (umbrella for shade, drink cup, back-scratcher, etc.) Brainstorm together everything he enjoys. Bring out the boom box or i-pod with his favorite songs, and a bucket for soaking his feet. Serve his favorite smoothie, or beer in a frosted mug. Dish up his favorite meal on a breakfast tray, and if you really want to go out on a limb, assign each family member slave duty for an hour. Dad can demand back, foot and head rubs. One minion may have to wash the car, while others clean the back yard or garage. If you’re looking to get out of manual labor, offer to bring him the paper and read it to him!

Don’t forget the homemade cards. They are truly priceless. Use construction paper, pictures of the family and endearing quotes, like, “A wise son maketh a glad father – Proverbs 10.1.”  Or, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years – Mark Twain.” And my favorite, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” – Henry Ward Beecher. For more quotes, poems, recipes, and gift ideas go to www.loveyoufather.com.

Dads, if you’re reading this, act surprised! Also, go over the top when showing your everlasting appreciation for the special gifts your children made. Listen to their stories, adventures and congratulate them on a job well done. As Shakespeare penned in “Merchant of Venice”, “It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

DAD MATTERS AS MUCH AS MOM

In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson declared that the third Sunday in June would be Father’s Day, 50 years after the country had begun celebrating American mothers. Nevertheless, as traditional roles around the house have changed, fathers are gaining more attention. And rightfully so!

Dad’s role is crucial, not only to the children in his life, but also to our society as a whole. Children without fathers are five times more likely to be poor, three times more likely to use drugs, three times more likely to have emotional and behavioral   problems, twice as likely to drop out of school, and twice as likely to be incarcerated. Unfortunately, 40% of children in America are raised without a father.

Study after study empirically demonstrates that a father’s role in a child’s well being is just as important as mom’s. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 44% of children in mother-only families are living in poverty, compared to only 12% of children living in a household headed by a married couple. A study by the Department of Education showed that students whose fathers were highly involved at school were 43% more likely to receive A’s. Conversely, students living in homes without a father were twice as likely to repeat a grade as students with a father in the home.

A father can really make substantial difference, whether he be married, single, divorced, widowed, gay, or straight, a stepfather, a stay-at-home dad, or the primary family provider. What is important is that he is involved. So how are we going to show our thanks to dear old dad? We can check out how other cultures do it.

 

Australians have festivities all day, starting with a community breakfast, then games, followed by picnics and fishing contests. It might be fun to set up a breakfast with a few family friends and plan an outing for dad.

The Irish donate to charity in the name of their father or perform acts of community service to pay tribute to the important men in their lives. How about letting dad sleep in and take the kids for an altruistic playdate? Or, enjoy a charitable family outing - www.volunteerinfo.org offers volunteer opportunities across the Bay.

South Africans gather in their communities and read stories and poems, focusing on strong male role models. Here are some good reads with patriarchal themes:

This I Believe: On Fatherhood by Dan Gediman, is a compilation of original essays. It is filled with moving memories of love, heartbreak, lessons learned, opportunities missed, and other sentimental stories.

In, Just the Two of Us, actor Will Smith tells a touching tale of fatherhood and a father’s love as his child grows from a boy into a man.

Monday is One Day by Arthur A. Levine is a love note from a working parent to a child.

For a real sentimental punch, have the children make their own book for Dad. Klutz Build-a-Book: Why I love my Dad by Sherri Haab is a kit containing everything a kid needs to create a one-of-a-kind book just for dad to show off, share and cherish.

Whether spending time outdoors, reading a book together, performing some community service or just sitting down to a family meal, enjoy creating some wonderful new memories and traditions of your own this Father’s Day.

Sigmund Freud wrote, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.” May you and your family enjoy the protection and love of the men in your family that answers to “dad.”

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.