GET MOVING

According to Santa Clara County Officials, One in four kids in Santa Clara County are either overweight or obese, and one in three low-income children between ages two and five are overweight or obese. Nationally, childhood obesity has tripled since the 1970s. The result: 30% of boys and 40% of girls born in 2000 will be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which can result in vision impairment leading to blindness, kidney failure and a host of other medical disasters, not to mention, people with diabetes are twice as likely to develop heart disease. It’s time to pay attention to our children’s diet and get the whole family moving.

With the extraordinary weather we have had, it has been pretty easy to take the kids out and get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise. However, the temperatures are bound to drop and the rainy season will commence leaving us cooped up inside, so we need to find some physical fun indoors.

The Wii experience is now a staple in many homes, and Wii Fit is one way for everyone to get a workout. However, if you’re like me and have not yet invested in the Wii phenomena, there are many other, old school options.

DANCE – Pump up the volume and wiggle your hips. Young and old can strut their stuff on the living room floor while the rain comes falling down. Little kids love to “dance and freeze.” Even more fun may be bumping hips and backsides. Oh, come on, you remember the Bump and the Hustle! Show the kids how you used to tear up the rug back in the day. Have them teach you a few new wave steps.

YOGA – Parents are not the only ones busy and stressed. Kids need to decompress too. The whole family can derive enormous benefits from yoga. It enhances flexibility, strength and coordination and also produces a sense of calmness and relaxation.

OBSTACLE COURSE – make an indoor obstacle course, crawling under and over a row of chairs, walking on a homemade balance board, or throwing beanbags into laundry baskets. Half the fun will be setting it up. Just make sure the kids stick around for the teardown.

GO OUTSIDE ANYWAY – If it’s only a sprinkle, gear up the kids, grab some chalk and do some original chalk paintings. Before your very eyes these seemingly innocuous drawings will metamorphose into classic Monet’s. Grab the camera. I promise they will be interesting, but not long lasting.

Let the kids jump in puddles, throw a wet, slippery ball and catch raindrops on their tongue, in their cupped hands, or in an upside down umbrella. After all, they’re kids! With a little imagination, everyone can enjoy staving off the weight and medical mishaps by playing and singing in, or out, of the rain.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

READ ALOUD TO YOUR CHILD

Bill Gates once quipped, “I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot.” Many of us grow up with the assumption that we only read aloud to children who have not yet learned how to read. So not true! Think about it. Do you enjoy someone reading to you? Do you listen to audiobooks? I have purchased many more books than songs from iTunes.  It makes me love reading even more! Reading aloud with your child encourages them to read. And practice really does make perfect.       

To use a somewhat gruesome colloquialism, reading aloud with your child can kill many birds with just one stone. It builds the bond between you and your child. It provides a strong, positive influence and it promotes the love of literature and the promise of a life-long reader. Through books children learn empathy for others, see conflicts and possible solutions, and see other sides to a story. They also get the opportunity to view persons not in their immediate environment, for example, the elderly, or people from different ethnic backgrounds or social status. Reading aloud also increases listening skills, vocabulary, memory, and language skills.

It’s a no-brainer really. You can read anything together. It can be recipes, the newspaper or even a teen magazine (first rule of war – get to know the enemy!) You can memorize a poem together, read the bible or a book for school. It can also be in any language. The benefits are universal.           

Still not convinced? Let me throw some data your way. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, children whose parents read to them tend to become better readers and perform better in school. Need more? Many doctors believe reading to a child makes them healthier! In fact, the American Medical Association has suggested that all doctors prescribe “reading to children.”

A good rule of thumb to maximize comprehensions is to read aloud a piece of literature that is slightly above your child’s reading level. If the piece is below your child’s reading level, they can read it independently. If it is at their reading level, you can read it together - take turns reading aloud or read side by side and discuss. Not sure of your child’s’ reading level? Ask their teacher. For a quick check of a particular piece of literature, have your child read about 25 words of the passage out loud. If they miss more than a few words, it’s too difficult for them to read by themselves.     

Consider role modeling the importance of reading. Make it a priority over cleaning the house, texting or even making dinner. It only takes 20 minutes, but I bet you’ll enjoy this time together so much that you’ll soon be prolonging it. Every day you accomplish this loving task, you are telling your children that reading is important, and so are they.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

PRACTICING SAFE TEXT

“Sexting” (sending sexually explicit messages or photographs from a cell phone) is not nearly as common as some may have believed. In fact, national surveys suggest that only 3 to 7 percent of teens are sending or receiving sexually graphic message or images. 

 

Reading this statistic, I was relieved but also a bit skeptical because telling the truth is not the first virtue that comes to mind when considering teens. However, it’s not important what I believe. The fact is, sexting is out there and has become part of today’s technically advanced world. So, parents need to understand the implications, collect information and be prepared to give advice about what to do if their child sends or receives a sexting image.

We would all like to believe that our kids are too naïve or too intelligent to get involved in such tawdry business, but the fact is, many, smart, well-educated and worldly people have participated in, and felt the repercussions of sexting. Just ask former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner or former Texas Congressman Joe Barton.

There can be serious legal implications. Anyone, including minors, who take nude or sexually implicit photos of themselves or someone else underage can be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. 

To be perfectly safe, kids should never take images of themselves that they wouldn’t want everyone – including classmates, teachers and their family to see. This does not only apply to cell phones, but any media-sharing device. Also, if your child receives a sext message, they should not send it to anyone or delete it. They should tell you or another trusted adult.

People aren’t always who they seem to be in cyberspace or in real life. And, relationships change over time so advise your kids to consider that when they press “send” they cannot control where their message may go. In other words, what they send to a boyfriend or girlfriend could easily end up with other friends, complete strangers, and potentially dangerous people.

All that being said, cell phones are not the devil’s handy work. In the event of an emergency, having a cell phone allows your child to contact you, the police or the fire department immediately.  You can also contact your child if there is a family emergency. Also, many phones are now equipped with GPS which will allow you to track your child’s phone, and hence, your child.

If you are not familiar with textonyms (acronyms used in text messaging) spend time with your son or daughter and ask them to show you how to decipher text message basics. Understanding sexting and discussing this dangerous trend is the first preventative step. 

Ronald Reagan adopted an old Russian proverb when discussing US relations with Russia – “Trust, but verify.” This may be the tactic you’ll want to employ when determining the relationships between your child and his cyber-safety.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

FOR DEAR OLD DAD

William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. He raised all six kids by himself on a rural farm in Washington State. While listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, his daughter Sonora realized her father deserved to be honored for his selflessness and sacrifice. So, on June 19^th, 1910, the first Father’s Day celebration was held in Spokane, Washington. In 1966, President Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3^rd Sunday in June as Father’s Day and President Nixon signed the law, which finally made it permanent in 1972.

This coming Sunday, Dad is officially the “head honcho, ruler of the roost, and king of the castle.” Today’s eclectic family dictates that the gifts and pleasures bestowed are not dependent on DNA. “Dad” is the man who lovingly and respectfully helps raise the kids. He’s the one who deserves all the honors, kisses and kudos, regardless of his official title.  

If money is not a concern, a weekend trip to Pebble Beach, or 49er season tickets are more than appropriate. If, however, your piggy bank is looking a bit emaciated, there are still ways to make his day - one he will remember with love and appreciation. And the best part, the kids do all the work!

Turn the lawn chair into a throne that puts within his reach everything he needs to be king for the day. Use clamps or tape to attach appropriate accessories (umbrella for shade, drink cup, back-scratcher, etc.) Brainstorm together everything he enjoys. Bring out the boom box or i-pod with his favorite songs, and a bucket for soaking his feet. Serve his favorite smoothie, or beer in a frosted mug. Dish up his favorite meal on a breakfast tray, and if you really want to go out on a limb, assign each family member slave duty for an hour. Dad can demand back, foot and head rubs. One minion may have to wash the car, while others clean the back yard or garage. If you’re looking to get out of manual labor, offer to bring him the paper and read it to him!

Don’t forget the homemade cards. They are truly priceless. Use construction paper, pictures of the family and endearing quotes, like, “A wise son maketh a glad father – Proverbs 10.1.”  Or, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years – Mark Twain.” And my favorite, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” – Henry Ward Beecher. For more quotes, poems, recipes, and gift ideas go to www.loveyoufather.com.

Dads, if you’re reading this, act surprised! Also, go over the top when showing your everlasting appreciation for the special gifts your children made. Listen to their stories, adventures and congratulate them on a job well done. As Shakespeare penned in “Merchant of Venice”, “It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

DAD MATTERS AS MUCH AS MOM

In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson declared that the third Sunday in June would be Father’s Day, 50 years after the country had begun celebrating American mothers. Nevertheless, as traditional roles around the house have changed, fathers are gaining more attention. And rightfully so!

Dad’s role is crucial, not only to the children in his life, but also to our society as a whole. Children without fathers are five times more likely to be poor, three times more likely to use drugs, three times more likely to have emotional and behavioral   problems, twice as likely to drop out of school, and twice as likely to be incarcerated. Unfortunately, 40% of children in America are raised without a father.

Study after study empirically demonstrates that a father’s role in a child’s well being is just as important as mom’s. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 44% of children in mother-only families are living in poverty, compared to only 12% of children living in a household headed by a married couple. A study by the Department of Education showed that students whose fathers were highly involved at school were 43% more likely to receive A’s. Conversely, students living in homes without a father were twice as likely to repeat a grade as students with a father in the home.

A father can really make substantial difference, whether he be married, single, divorced, widowed, gay, or straight, a stepfather, a stay-at-home dad, or the primary family provider. What is important is that he is involved. So how are we going to show our thanks to dear old dad? We can check out how other cultures do it.

 

Australians have festivities all day, starting with a community breakfast, then games, followed by picnics and fishing contests. It might be fun to set up a breakfast with a few family friends and plan an outing for dad.

The Irish donate to charity in the name of their father or perform acts of community service to pay tribute to the important men in their lives. How about letting dad sleep in and take the kids for an altruistic playdate? Or, enjoy a charitable family outing - www.volunteerinfo.org offers volunteer opportunities across the Bay.

South Africans gather in their communities and read stories and poems, focusing on strong male role models. Here are some good reads with patriarchal themes:

This I Believe: On Fatherhood by Dan Gediman, is a compilation of original essays. It is filled with moving memories of love, heartbreak, lessons learned, opportunities missed, and other sentimental stories.

In, Just the Two of Us, actor Will Smith tells a touching tale of fatherhood and a father’s love as his child grows from a boy into a man.

Monday is One Day by Arthur A. Levine is a love note from a working parent to a child.

For a real sentimental punch, have the children make their own book for Dad. Klutz Build-a-Book: Why I love my Dad by Sherri Haab is a kit containing everything a kid needs to create a one-of-a-kind book just for dad to show off, share and cherish.

Whether spending time outdoors, reading a book together, performing some community service or just sitting down to a family meal, enjoy creating some wonderful new memories and traditions of your own this Father’s Day.

Sigmund Freud wrote, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.” May you and your family enjoy the protection and love of the men in your family that answers to “dad.”

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

ALLEVIATE TEST TAKING TENSION

For families around the country, spring means clearing clutter, cleaning the garage, and getting outdoors. For teachers, it means counting down the days to the much-anticipated Spring Break and preparing for the state test.  The annual standardized state test has become more and more tied to a child’s progress, their class placement, and a teacher’s perceived performance. It even affects real estate prices. In the near future, these test scores may decide school funding and teacher salaries. As a result of this growing pressure, more time, money, and energy is being expended on preparing for these types of high stakes test.

Kids are bogged down with simulated practice tests and much of the work can be tedious. However, parents can help alleviate some of the stress brought on by these wearisome tasks and help their children perform better on standardized tests, which, like it or not, students will be taking many times for many years to come.

The best preparation of course is to encourage your children to be life-long learners both in and out of the classroom. That means doing simple things like listening and following directions, reading, and doing homework. Your children’s teacher has most likely been doing test preparation in school so you can help with easing anxiety and boosting confidence at home.

It sounds obvious, but make up tests are cumbersome, so make sure your children are in school and on time during the testing session. Do not plan any doctor or dental appointments on test dates. Know how test results are used, and how they will affect your children’s grades or placement. Test dates and all other information can be obtained from school and should be on the school website.

Be a cheerleader! It’s crucial that you communicate to your children that you believe in them. Without adding pressure, motivate your children to do well on the test and to listen carefully to all test-taking directions. Also, encourage them to ask questions about any directions that are unclear.  Make sure your children eat a healthy breakfast and, of course, get plenty of sleep the night before. A shower in the morning will freshen mind, body, and spirit. Having a pleasant morning will eliminate any added concerns and allow your children to focus while taking the test.

If your children are overly anxious, give them a few calming tips to use while testing. If frazzled, imagine a favorite place. Focusing on something else clears the head. Tuck a small token into a pocket. Nothing distracting, just a special coin, or sticker will suffice Suggest taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Then take shorter breaths in between passages or sections of the test – counting only to three. These simple exercises are fast, simple and really work.

Empowering yourself and your children before test taking will lead to a more pleasant testing experience, and hopefully higher scores, so send your tough test taker to school with a full tummy, clean body and confident self.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

  

MORE CYBER-SAFETY

 

Why do I keep harping on the dangers of the cyberworld? These sobering statistics may explain.

• According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, cyberbullying victims consider suicide about twice as often as victims of physical bullying.
• The National Institutes of Health has reported a stronger link to depression in youths from cyberbullying than any other form of bullying.

• Victims often don't tell parents or other authority figures about this type of bullying out of fear their Internet access or cell phone could be taken away.

An alarming amount of cyberbullying happens during online gaming.

Since my knowledge of gaming is very limited, I turned to an expert. Michael Fertik is the CEO and founder of Reputation.com. Reputation.com is headquartered in Redwood City, California and helps businesses and consumers control their online lives.

“One reason why we’re seeing the rise of cyberbullying is because technology is on the side of the perpetrator and not the victim.” He said, “Tools to attack are more sophisticated and so are searches, with social networks fundamentally serving as broadcast services.”

I asked Michael some questions regarding this fairly new form of bullying.

What does aggressive behavior or online bullying look like? What should parents look for?

There's a range of symptoms and behavior that come into play with aggressive and bullying behavior online. For example, bullying can revolve around anti-gay insults; this is particularly prevalent among boys. It can also take the form of racial slurs.

One thing parents can look out for is excessive, bordering on obsessive, social networking. Sometimes victims of bullying will spend hours online reading all of the insults, just waiting for the next one. It goes against conventional wisdom, but it's part of what makes cyberbullying more dangerous.

What online games are most susceptible to bully behavior?

Xbox Live is one of the most popular online gaming systems. With more than 20 million users logging on each day, it may not be uncommon to cross paths with an overly aggressive player. To greatly reduce risk of online harassment, avoid overly familiar contact with people you meet via competition-intense games such as the "Call of Duty" series. Trash-talking and other aggressive behavior may be more likely to occur, due to the first-person shooter viewpoint and its overall violent theme; avoiding offline contact can help reduce the risk that “trash talk” will turn into something more serious.

What, if any, are California’s cyberbullying laws?

California does have a cyberbullying law on the books. Assembly Bill 86 2008 gives principals the ability to suspend students or recommend them for expulsion if the student has engaged in bullying behavior in school or outside of school, with a special clarification for cyberbullying.

The bill had registered support from the California Teachers Association.

Michael’s final piece of advice - “Ideally, your kids will answer all of your questions openly and honestly. Unfortunately, anyone who has spent any time around teens knows that the perception of privacy is incredibly important. That’s why it is important to consider investing in computer monitoring tools.”

I may be naïve, but I also believe the golden rule can apply well here, remind your kids to be ethical at all times, and when playing in cyberspace, to treat fellow gamers the way they themselves would like to be treated.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.