CYBER-SAVVY FAMILY

Internet filtering and security products alone will not protect your kids from cyber bullies or worse. Education is a key part of the prevention. Here are some tools and tactics to keep your family cyber safe and savvy.

Use filters to complement, not replace your supervision of Internet use. Some software, such as SafeNet, allows kids to monitor themselves instead of blocking sites. It records the addresses of every site your kids visit so you can peruse them later. Other security programs such as Sonicwall, and Watchguard block undesirable sites by comparing the Internet addresses your child tries to access against its own list of off-limit sites. Keep in mind, however, that phones or computers that do not have filter software are unprotected.

Most parents are well aware that phones are no longer just for talking. They have Internet access, cameras and videocams. Just as in chat rooms, kids need to think about who they text and talk with. They should never text/talk with strangers and should never allow other people to photograph or film them without permission.

Talk to your kids about what personal information is and why it should never be given to people online. Remind them to keep passwords private, even from best friends, and not to share photos of themselves or family with people they meet online. Nothing written on the Web is completely private.

You’ll learn a great deal about your child’s Internet habits by surfing the net with him. Get your own Facebook and Snapchat accounts and befriend your kids – you can then read their profiles. When asking your son or daughter about the neighborhood kids he/she hangs out with, be sure to ask him about his ‘online friends. Get to understand their cryptic code -  http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php - is a list of acronyms used for texting and online chats.

Make sure your child has two trusted adults (you, a teacher, another parent, or counselor) that he can turn to if needed and communicate often with these people. If your child is harassed online, save the evidence and if it escalates, contact your local authorities. Also, remind your kids not to be a bully or a bystander. Even if they don’t like someone, it’s a good idea to be decent. The golden rule applies well here. Watching or forwarding mean messages only empowers bullies and hurts victims. It’s time to let bullies know their behavior is unacceptable in any venue.

Most importantly, the best remedy is to keep an open line of communication. Talk to your child about being civil, about being a friend, about privacy issues, about ethics and morality, and about sexuality because if you don’t, someone on the Internet will. No matter how tech savvy a parent becomes, he will never match the intuitive abilities of a generation that grew up in cyberspace. The responsibility lies with us all to give our impressionable youth a firm foundation upon which to make wise and healthy choices and the gift of trust to strengthen their ability to do so.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com

ONE EASY STEP TO SCHOOL SUCCESS - BE THERE!

Parents are often bombarded with advice on how to help their children succeed in school, but one critical factor often gets overlooked: the most faithful foreteller of success at school is very basic—showing up. Research shows the likelihood of dropping out of school skyrockets to 75 percent when attendance drops below 80 percent. This is a disturbing statistic and one that has not been given enough attention. The John W. Gardner Center for Youth and Their Communities (JGC) at Stanford University conducted several studies on the attendance patterns of schools in the Bay Area. According to their findings, the group most likely to be chronically absent are Kindergarteners. Further, children who miss 10 days or more of their first year in school, whether in preschool or Kindergarten, are more likely to establish poor attendance habits and to struggle with reading mastery. Frequent absences early in a child’s education can have long-term consequences.

It seems self-evident that kids who are at school get the most get the most out of it. What’s surprising is the impact attendance has on all aspects of a well-rounded education. Students with good attendance are more responsible and have better work habits. They also learn valuable social skills and develop a broader worldview. The academic upside is also compelling. Better student attendance is a statistically significant predictor of better academic performance and it is true for all socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds.

For parents, understanding the importance of attendance is the easy part. Actually getting kids to school every day, on time is the challenge. Here are a few tips to help achieve that goal.

• Lay out clothes, pack lunches and backpacks the night before.
• Have a backup plan for getting the kids to school if something comes up. Ask a family member, a neighbor or another parent if you can rely on them to take your kids to school, or pick them up, when you need an extra hand.
• Keep your kids healthy by ensuring they get enough sleep and teach them the importance of washing their hands frequently.
• Make sure your children have the required medical immunizations. There are immunizations needed for Kindergarten as well as transitional Kindergarten, and seventh-graders need a Tdap (pertussis booster) vaccine. If you have questions, check with your pediatrician.
• Keep track of your child’s absences. Many parents are surprised to see the number of days missed on their child’s report card. Sometimes we simply forget what took place weeks or even months ago. Writing absent days on a calendar may help you square up.
• Have a chat with your kids about the importance of being present at school. One missed day of school can mean two days of falling behind. Missing school makes it more difficult to stay on track with assignments and every day in school is another chance to learn something new.
• Attend back-to-school night. Most of the important events, dates and information you will need for the school year will be supplied at this meeting. Also, it demonstrates to your kids and their teachers that you are involved and engaged and that school is a priority.
• If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask the office staff, teachers, and/or administrators.

Beyond the most important reason to attend school—to ensure learning and academic success—showing up on time, every day is a life-long lesson that all of us can benefit from.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

SCOOP ON THE SUMMER LEARNING

American schools were traditionally designed to fit the needs of farmers. Children were released from school in late spring to help with planting and in fall to help with the harvest. Although today only 3% of our population makes their living in agriculture, this calendar still remains the standard.

As a result, exhilarated school children are freed from their academic entailments in June. Parents may not be as thrilled. Along with finding sitters and keeping kids safe, summer learning loss is a concern. Studies have proved that this loss is especially prevalent for students with special needs or of low social economic status. Math and spelling skills are most affected - possibly a result of the lack of opportunities to practice. So, let’s find some opportunities!

Summer school programs are a valuable intervention for academic enrichment and acceleration. Unfortunately, most Bay Area summer school classes have been canceled because of the lack of funding. There are many other commercial summer programs, but most of them cost money. If you are interested in finding one near you, check in with your local library, YMCA, or community center.

If you are unable to finance a formal summer program but still want to create opportunities for your children to practice academic skills, there are many no-fuss, homespun ways. 

Number Sense

Playing “I-spy” with numbers in the newspaper or a magazine reinforces number recognition. Ask your young ones to find the numbers in their address, their age, the ages of their siblings, parents, or their birth date and phone number.

Practice reading lists of numbers from left to right by perusing the stock market section. Using stock quotes can also facilitate reciting, writing, adding and subtracting larger numbers.

To bolster percentage and decimal proficiency, check the weather section in your newspaper or online and check climates across the nation and world. Sports fans can acquaint themselves with football, baseball and hockey statistics.

Reading and Writing Competence

Even for Kindergarteners, finding the letters in their name should be easy. To make it more challenging, have them distinguish between capitals and lower-case letters and locate basic words (ex: cat, mom, love).

Comprehension improvement, vocabulary development and sequential understanding can be supported through cartoon strips. Cut them out, mix them up, and have your summer students put them in order. Or select five pictures from a magazine and create a story to go along with the pictures.

Play a more advance version of “I-spy” and have older kids find news stories about government officials, editor’s opinions, weather reports and want ads.

Clip some examples of advertisement and see if you and the kids are able to find the secret messages hidden in the propaganda. Also identify the target audience. It's not as easy as you might think.

For some practical life skills, go through coupons and have the family guess the prices of various products.

Don’t forget to get physical. Whether it be dancing, skipping, swimming or biking, enjoy the nice weather and stay both mentally and physically active. Your brain and all your other muscles will benefit from these eclectic workouts this summer.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

On July 4th in 1803, news of the Louisiana Purchase reached Washington. On July 4th, 1826, both Thomas Jefferson and John Adams died. On July 4,

1863, President Abraham Lincoln learned of the Union victories at Vicksburg and Gettysburg, signifying the beginning of the end of the Confederacy. General Lee never regained Union territory. Read on and pick up some more tidbits to impress friends at this year’s July fourth BBQ. The fireworks won’t be the only things sparkling!

In order to declare our independence from Great Britain, Congress appointed a committee of five to write The Declaration of Independence. It included: John Adams of Massachusetts, Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania, Thomas Jefferson of Virginia, Robert Livingston of New York, and Roger Sherman of Connecticut. Of these five, Thomas Jefferson was chosen to write the majority. Although Jefferson was a very gifted writer, the main reason he was chosen was his status as a Virginian. Virginia was the oldest and considered the most prestigious colony.

In his first draft, Jefferson (a slave owner himself) included slavery as one of the grievances against the King of Great Britain. The original draft included the following. “He [King George III] has waged cruel war against human nature itself, violating its most sacred right of life and liberty in the persons of a distant people who never offended him, captivating and carrying them into slavery in another hemisphere, or to incur miserable death in their transportation thither. This piratical warfare, the opprobrium of infidel powers, is the warfare of the Christian King of Great Britain… He is now exciting those very people to rise in arms among us, and to purchase that liberty of which he has deprived them, by murdering the people upon whom he also obtruded them; thus paying off former crimes committed against the liberties of one people, with crimes which he urges them to commit against the lives of another.” The clause was removed because it was imperative that all the representatives, including those from slave-owning southern states, support it.

On July 1, 1776, all but Pennsylvania and South Carolina voted to approve the

Declaration. They changed their minds the next day. So, on July 2nd Congress approved the Declaration of Independence.

John Adams, in one of his now famous letters to wife Abigail, penned,

“The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of

America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.”

Today we celebrate our independence from Britain and the birth of our Democracy pretty much the way Adams foretold, with parades and picnics, fireworks and frivolities. We just do it two days hence. However you plan on celebrating the birth of our nation, I pray it is filled with family, friends and patriotic pleasures.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

GET MOVING

According to Santa Clara County Officials, One in four kids in Santa Clara County are either overweight or obese, and one in three low-income children between ages two and five are overweight or obese. Nationally, childhood obesity has tripled since the 1970s. The result: 30% of boys and 40% of girls born in 2000 will be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which can result in vision impairment leading to blindness, kidney failure and a host of other medical disasters, not to mention, people with diabetes are twice as likely to develop heart disease. It’s time to pay attention to our children’s diet and get the whole family moving.

With the extraordinary weather we have had, it has been pretty easy to take the kids out and get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise. However, the temperatures are bound to drop and the rainy season will commence leaving us cooped up inside, so we need to find some physical fun indoors.

The Wii experience is now a staple in many homes, and Wii Fit is one way for everyone to get a workout. However, if you’re like me and have not yet invested in the Wii phenomena, there are many other, old school options.

DANCE – Pump up the volume and wiggle your hips. Young and old can strut their stuff on the living room floor while the rain comes falling down. Little kids love to “dance and freeze.” Even more fun may be bumping hips and backsides. Oh, come on, you remember the Bump and the Hustle! Show the kids how you used to tear up the rug back in the day. Have them teach you a few new wave steps.

YOGA – Parents are not the only ones busy and stressed. Kids need to decompress too. The whole family can derive enormous benefits from yoga. It enhances flexibility, strength and coordination and also produces a sense of calmness and relaxation.

OBSTACLE COURSE – make an indoor obstacle course, crawling under and over a row of chairs, walking on a homemade balance board, or throwing beanbags into laundry baskets. Half the fun will be setting it up. Just make sure the kids stick around for the teardown.

GO OUTSIDE ANYWAY – If it’s only a sprinkle, gear up the kids, grab some chalk and do some original chalk paintings. Before your very eyes these seemingly innocuous drawings will metamorphose into classic Monet’s. Grab the camera. I promise they will be interesting, but not long lasting.

Let the kids jump in puddles, throw a wet, slippery ball and catch raindrops on their tongue, in their cupped hands, or in an upside down umbrella. After all, they’re kids! With a little imagination, everyone can enjoy staving off the weight and medical mishaps by playing and singing in, or out, of the rain.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

READ ALOUD TO YOUR CHILD

Bill Gates once quipped, “I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot.” Many of us grow up with the assumption that we only read aloud to children who have not yet learned how to read. So not true! Think about it. Do you enjoy someone reading to you? Do you listen to audiobooks? I have purchased many more books than songs from iTunes.  It makes me love reading even more! Reading aloud with your child encourages them to read. And practice really does make perfect.       

To use a somewhat gruesome colloquialism, reading aloud with your child can kill many birds with just one stone. It builds the bond between you and your child. It provides a strong, positive influence and it promotes the love of literature and the promise of a life-long reader. Through books children learn empathy for others, see conflicts and possible solutions, and see other sides to a story. They also get the opportunity to view persons not in their immediate environment, for example, the elderly, or people from different ethnic backgrounds or social status. Reading aloud also increases listening skills, vocabulary, memory, and language skills.

It’s a no-brainer really. You can read anything together. It can be recipes, the newspaper or even a teen magazine (first rule of war – get to know the enemy!) You can memorize a poem together, read the bible or a book for school. It can also be in any language. The benefits are universal.           

Still not convinced? Let me throw some data your way. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, children whose parents read to them tend to become better readers and perform better in school. Need more? Many doctors believe reading to a child makes them healthier! In fact, the American Medical Association has suggested that all doctors prescribe “reading to children.”

A good rule of thumb to maximize comprehensions is to read aloud a piece of literature that is slightly above your child’s reading level. If the piece is below your child’s reading level, they can read it independently. If it is at their reading level, you can read it together - take turns reading aloud or read side by side and discuss. Not sure of your child’s’ reading level? Ask their teacher. For a quick check of a particular piece of literature, have your child read about 25 words of the passage out loud. If they miss more than a few words, it’s too difficult for them to read by themselves.     

Consider role modeling the importance of reading. Make it a priority over cleaning the house, texting or even making dinner. It only takes 20 minutes, but I bet you’ll enjoy this time together so much that you’ll soon be prolonging it. Every day you accomplish this loving task, you are telling your children that reading is important, and so are they.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

PRACTICING SAFE TEXT

“Sexting” (sending sexually explicit messages or photographs from a cell phone) is not nearly as common as some may have believed. In fact, national surveys suggest that only 3 to 7 percent of teens are sending or receiving sexually graphic message or images. 

 

Reading this statistic, I was relieved but also a bit skeptical because telling the truth is not the first virtue that comes to mind when considering teens. However, it’s not important what I believe. The fact is, sexting is out there and has become part of today’s technically advanced world. So, parents need to understand the implications, collect information and be prepared to give advice about what to do if their child sends or receives a sexting image.

We would all like to believe that our kids are too naïve or too intelligent to get involved in such tawdry business, but the fact is, many, smart, well-educated and worldly people have participated in, and felt the repercussions of sexting. Just ask former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner or former Texas Congressman Joe Barton.

There can be serious legal implications. Anyone, including minors, who take nude or sexually implicit photos of themselves or someone else underage can be charged with producing or distributing child pornography. 

To be perfectly safe, kids should never take images of themselves that they wouldn’t want everyone – including classmates, teachers and their family to see. This does not only apply to cell phones, but any media-sharing device. Also, if your child receives a sext message, they should not send it to anyone or delete it. They should tell you or another trusted adult.

People aren’t always who they seem to be in cyberspace or in real life. And, relationships change over time so advise your kids to consider that when they press “send” they cannot control where their message may go. In other words, what they send to a boyfriend or girlfriend could easily end up with other friends, complete strangers, and potentially dangerous people.

All that being said, cell phones are not the devil’s handy work. In the event of an emergency, having a cell phone allows your child to contact you, the police or the fire department immediately.  You can also contact your child if there is a family emergency. Also, many phones are now equipped with GPS which will allow you to track your child’s phone, and hence, your child.

If you are not familiar with textonyms (acronyms used in text messaging) spend time with your son or daughter and ask them to show you how to decipher text message basics. Understanding sexting and discussing this dangerous trend is the first preventative step. 

Ronald Reagan adopted an old Russian proverb when discussing US relations with Russia – “Trust, but verify.” This may be the tactic you’ll want to employ when determining the relationships between your child and his cyber-safety.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.