I demanded my five-year-old stop pouting and tell
me what was the matter. With a high pitched “humph!” and her small arms
akimbo, she purposefully rolled her eyes to the ceiling. She continued
rolling until her unhappy baby blues landed on the wall opposite her
loving mother. Are the doors of communication already shutting? How is
that eye rolling going to manifest itself in ten years?
As a parent, I’m often clueless at attempting to
understand my preschooler. However, as a teacher, I have many tricks up
my sleeve to get students to open up. Since there is a direct
correlation between well-developed communication skills and academic
achievement, I’m hoping some of my professional strategies will
eventually make their way home.
Teaching involves showing and telling and so does
effective communicating. Role modeling how to inquire, interpret and
connect socially will enable young adults to mimic your actions until
they acquire the skills themselves. In other words, they can fake it
until they make it!
Be an active listener and thoughtful speaker.
Make sure your body language conveys to them that you are interested and
listening. You can make eye contact with them, turn your body toward
them, and nod as they are talking to let them know you are listening.
Let them know that their message is important.
A clean, safe and academically stimulating
environment is best for learning and conversing. Providing a comfortable
atmosphere for discussions will lessen stress and anxiety levels.
Reduce any distractions that will keep you from focusing. Try
to stop whatever you are doing that may distract you from listening,
such as watching television or cleaning while your child is talking to
you. If you can’t immediately drop what you’re doing, ask if another
time can be set up when you are better able to listen.
A well-rounded teacher focuses on both the
academics and social success of her students. If she is unclear whether
her message was received, she often asks follow up questions. When
talking with your child, listen for the feelings behind the content that
your son or daughter is trying to convey. Are they embarrassed,
frightened, happy, anxious, proud? You may want to ask some clarifying
questions, like:
*How important is that to you?
*What is the purpose behind the action?
*How do you feel other people feel about that?
*What might be the consequences of your choice?
*How can I help you do something about that?
Positive feedback is a teacher’s optimum tool to
pump up discouraged students. On every potential occasion, give praise.
Pay attention to the little things by admiring their fashion sense,
hairstyle, and proper manners. Mother Teresa taught that, “Kind words
can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
I have honed my communication skills as a teacher
for over a decade, mainly focusing on eighth graders. As a result, I
have faith in my ability to continue to build a strong connection with
my daughter. After all, the behavior of thirteen year olds and five year
olds can be eerily similar.
