KEEP THE DOOR OPEN AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME

I demanded my five-year-old stop pouting and tell me what was the matter. With a high pitched “humph!” and her small arms akimbo, she purposefully rolled her eyes to the ceiling. She continued rolling until her unhappy baby blues landed on the wall opposite her loving mother. Are the doors of communication already shutting? How is that eye rolling going to manifest itself in ten years?

As a parent, I’m often clueless at attempting to understand my preschooler. However, as a teacher, I have many tricks up my sleeve to get students to open up. Since there is a direct correlation between well-developed communication skills and academic achievement, I’m hoping some of my professional strategies will eventually make their way home.

Teaching involves showing and telling and so does effective communicating. Role modeling how to inquire, interpret and connect socially will enable young adults to mimic your actions until they acquire the skills themselves. In other words, they can fake it until they make it!

Be an active listener and thoughtful speaker. Make sure your body language conveys to them that you are interested and listening. You can make eye contact with them, turn your body toward them, and nod as they are talking to let them know you are listening. Let them know that their message is important.

A clean, safe and academically stimulating environment is best for learning and conversing. Providing a comfortable atmosphere for discussions will lessen stress and anxiety levels. Reduce any distractions that will keep you from focusing.  Try to stop whatever you are doing that may distract you from listening, such as watching television or cleaning while your child is talking to you. If you can’t immediately drop what you’re doing, ask if another time can be set up when you are better able to listen.

A well-rounded teacher focuses on both the academics and social success of her students. If she is unclear whether her message was received, she often asks follow up questions. When talking with your child, listen for the feelings behind the content that your son or daughter is trying to convey. Are they embarrassed, frightened, happy, anxious, proud? You may want to ask some clarifying questions, like:

*How important is that to you?

*What is the purpose behind the action?

*How do you feel other people feel about that?

*What might be the consequences of your choice?

*How can I help you do something about that?

Positive feedback is a teacher’s optimum tool to pump up discouraged students. On every potential occasion, give praise. Pay attention to the little things by admiring their fashion sense, hairstyle, and proper manners. Mother Teresa taught that, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

I have honed my communication skills as a teacher for over a decade, mainly focusing on eighth graders. As a result, I have faith in my ability to continue to build a strong connection with my daughter. After all, the behavior of thirteen year olds and five year olds can be eerily similar.