PRICELESS TIME

I recently sat down with a group of thirteen and fourteen year old kids hoping to gain insight into their thoughts about meaningful gift giving. Trying to steer them clear of commercial products, I prompted them with the question, “What would you like from your parents that doesn’t cost money?”

Their conversations were mature, thoughtful and revealing.  Caroline lamented, “ This Christmas there is one thing I want from my parents. That is happy times in the New Year - no arguments. [I] just [want to] enjoy each other’s company.” Nicole, Brandon, Brianna, and Anthony all expressed similar sentiments. Anxiety due to conflicts in the home and the need for time together permeated our discussion.

A few claimed to need more freedom and independence, but for the most part these teens wanted attention. Some expressed specific needs.

Caylen said, “For Christmas I want my mom to play some games with my brother and me.”

Daisy wants, “… my whole family to be together again. We can go to the park or just stay home and watch a movie.”

Alex proposed, “We can look at old photo albums. Also, I would like my parents to tell me something about the photos – tell me about their past.”

As the exchange continued, I realized that the overwhelming sentiment was a need for more family time. I was, as I often am, pleasantly surprised by their considerate appeals.

I began thinking; maybe the old adage that teenagers desire less time with their parents was hogwash. Maybe the idea that quality time is more important than quantity is bunk too. A trip to Disneyland is great, but these young adolescents wanted more time with mom and dad every day.

I found as a middle school teacher that parent participation drops off dramatically around sixth grade. I’m not sure why, but my guess would be that children are starting to ask for more independence. I say, don’t believe them. At least talk with them and question this notion.

If you haven’t engaged with your kids in a while, now is as good a time as ever. Take them to a movie and have dinner after. If conversation is at a lull, discuss the movie. Begin, or reinstate game night once a week. Charades, card games, Monopoly, chess or checkers are fun at any age.

Kids of all ages love to look at past pictures as well as recent ones.  Admiring baby photos will lead to delightful memories and chitchat. Conversations of when and where the pictures were taken will be irresistible. Why not buy some picture frames and decorate them. Pop in a picture and voila! One holiday gift is ready for wrapping.

Also, check in with middle school and high school teachers. Talk with them about your child’s exemplary or unsatisfactory grades and behavior. Ask their English teacher to share what your child has written in class. You too, will be pleasantly surprised.

                                                                                                 

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com

HALLOWEEN HISTORY AND MODERN DAY FUN

The sharing of sweet and scary treats has been around for a long time and is celebrated in many cultures. It is believed to have originated about 2,000 years ago. The Celts, who lived in parts of Ireland, Scotland, and France, would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. In the United States, we still wear costumes and ward off roaming ghosts and so do many people all around the world.

                                                       

Modern Halloween celebrations in Canada began with the arrival of Scottish and Irish immigrants in the 1800s. Canadians too carve Jack O’Lanterns, decorate their homes, and trick-or-treat around their neighborhoods.

 

Irish tricks and treats are similar to our own as well. Families play a game like bobbing for apples called snap-apple. An apple is tied to a tree and players attempt to take a bite. Children prank adults by knocking on the doors of their neighbors and running away before the door is opened. It’s called, "knock-a-dolly." In my day, we rang doorbells and hightailed out of sight.  It was called, “ding-dong-ditch” and we didn’t only play on October 31^st.

 

In China, the Halloween festival is known as Teng Chieh. Bonfires and lanterns are burned to light the paths for spirits as they travel the Earth on Halloween night. Ceremonies in Buddhist temples are performed for pretas (translated from Sanskrit meaning hungry ghost) to help spirits on a peaceful journey to heaven - especially for the deceased who were not given a proper burial.

 

The Japanese celebrate with the Obon festival. It is an annual Buddhist observance dedicated to the spirits of ancestors. Bright red lanterns are hung in front of houses and set afloat in lakes and rivers to guide the ancestors’ spirits. Families often visit the gravesites of relatives, cleaning and placing flowers and incents on and around their gravestones.  

 

In Spanish speaking countries, Halloween is known as El Dia de los Muertos (The Day of the Dead). It is a time to remember friends and family who have passed away. The three-day celebration begins on the evening of October 31^st. Many families construct altars in their home and decorate it with candy, flowers, photographs, and samples of their lost loved one’s favorite foods.

 

No need to travel the world to enjoy some Halloween high spirits.  You can have some constructive tomfoolery right in your own home. Grab the older kids and a flashlight and read Edgar Allan Poe under a blanket. A website devoted to Poe,  www.poestories.com, has a complete list of all his short stories, poems and much more. For the younger ones, check out Ghost in the House by Ammi-Joan Paquette, Romping Monsters by Jan Yolen, and Vampire Baby, by Kelly Bennett. Rent some wholesome Halloween movies like Hocus Pocus, Casper, Ghost Busters, and The Addams Family. Then, put the whole family’s stimulated imaginations to work. Grab some paper and markers and cut and color skeletons, spiders, ghost and goblins and adorn the house with homemade haunting creations.

Edgar Allan Poe, Short Stories, Tales, and Poems www.poestories.com A collection of stories and poems by Edgar Allan Poe with vocabulary words, a biography, image gallery, and a timeline of Poe's life.

 

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

NOT JUST DRUNKEN DEBACHARY

On March 17th, many men and women will celebrate the noble Irish holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. They will honor the Saint who rid Ireland of snakes by dying their hair green, wearing ‘kiss me” buttons and drinking green beer – a lot of green beer!

Teachers enjoy partaking in these fun festivities, but it’s not all drunken debauchery. They also have a little didactic fun in their classrooms by sharing, writing and illustrating limericks.

Limericks are silly poems with five lines and are often nonsensical. The first, second and fifth lines rhyme with each other and have the same number of syllables (typically 8 or 9). The third and fourth lines rhyme with each other and have the same number of syllables (typically 5 or 6). They often start with the line “There once was a.” or “There was a …”

Limericks are often associated with the Irish because of County Limerick in Ireland. And, let’s face it – the Irish can often be silly – especially on St. Patrick’s Day!

Edward Lear is arguably the most famous poet of limericks. He wrote the “Book of Nonsense” which is an entire collection of whimsical limericks. They are entertaining to read and cool to share with your kids.  Here are a few of my favorite limericks written by 8^th graders that I would like to share with you.

­Cows Are Fat

Cows are fat and eat like pigs.

When they walk they snap the twigs.

Cows rumble the ground,

They make lots of sound,

My favorite one is named Bigz!

My Dogs

I have four loveable dogs.

But sometimes they smell like hogs.

They lick me a lot.

Their tongues are real hot.

And sometimes they chew big logs.

The Sly Spy

There once was a very sly spy.

He couldn’t catch a crook, but why?

Then he noticed that,

He was only a gnat.

The sly spy was only a fly!

­­Jacked Up Truck­

There’s nothing like a lifted truck

I like my Chevys all jacked up.

Four doors – hunter green,

Best you’ve every seen.

Makes the boys holler, “babe, waddup?!”

Emu Named Bob

There once was an emu named Bob.

Who liked to eat corn on the cob

Since he had no hands,

He ate out of cans

Therefore, he would eat like a slob!

The Restaurant

There is a restaurant in the park.

Where you have to order in the dark.

It has tomatoes,

And baked potatoes.

It’s a fancy restaurant to mark.

We hope they inspire you to write some with your little leprechauns.  Reading and writing together have almost limitless benefits. Among them are the modeling of the love of poetry and literature, increased reading fluency, vocabulary and all around development of language skills.  Illustrating your creations promote comprehension and displaying them brings the St. Patrick’s Day spirit into your home while saying,” I’m proud of you!”  This is a creative way to spend quality time together, and can be a very bonding experience. It may even turn out to be a great conversation starter for your aloof tweens and teens. So sit down with your children tonight and start writing some wacky, way out limericks.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

SHARING HIS DREAM

On January 15th, we celebrated the birth of an extraordinary human and great American. Most of us are aware of the super human efforts Martin Luther King Jr. made to help bring about justice for the oppressed people of the United States. We are familiar with his dream, “That [his] four children would one day live in a nation where they would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

  

He was an exceptional orator and his words resonate well with students. After studying and listening to Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream Speech” I asked some 8^th graders to put into their own words what King was striving for. Here are a few of their surprisingly insightful responses.

Katrina stated, “The steps that Dr. King believes that Americans must take to make the American dream a reality is to change the world into a brotherhood. People have to come to see that no individual can live alone, no nation can survive alone.”

John believes, “King was hoping to fulfill his dream that men of all races, of all nationalities and of all creeds can live together as brothers.”

Sydney thinks, “Dr. King believed that Americans must take legal steps to make his dream a reality. “

“Kerry wrote, “He says that soon all men will sit together at a table of brotherhood because all men are created equal. That everyone will live in freedom and justice one day. That no one will be judged by the color of their skin. That is his dream.”

Stephen affirmed, “He is notifying the people that the time to solve the problem of racism is now. It would be bad for the nation to procrastinate on solving this problem. He also states that there will be consequences if minorities do not get their citizenship rights.”

Ashley asserted, “Martin Luther King’s dream was that even Alabama would be transformed into a place where Black and White people can live together in peace and happiness. He dreamt that all the people would see the Lord’s glory and from the people’s faith would come hope to transform our nation into a place where different people can live amongst each other happily.”

If you are looking to remember and learn a bit more about one of the most influential visionaries in American history, here are a few great reads:

Adults will enjoy The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. It is actually a biography written by Stanford University historian Clayborne Carson. It begins with a forward by Coretta Scott King.

Third graders and up will enjoy I Have a Dream: The Story of MLK, Jr., by Margaret Davidson. Davidson shows how one man, armed with strong convictions and an excellent education, changed the way African Americans were treated. It puts in plain words King’s philosophy of non-violence.

Very young readers will benefit from, A Picture Book of MLK, Jr. by David Adler. Adler highlights Dr. King’s dream of a world free of hate, prejudice and violence.

To experience his oratory greatness, go to your local library and check out one of the many films on his life and labors or go to, www.youtube.com and search for MLK speeches.

His words of brotherly love, hope and equality have weathered the test of time and we can all benefit from studying, reflecting and acting on his message.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

STUDENTS REFLECT ON DR. KING'S DREAM

How different America may have looked if Martin Luther King, Jr.’s magnanimous life was not brutally cut short. We can only imagine what great causes he would have inspired, and the progress he could have made toward his vision of justice, equality and brotherly love. We can, however, reflect on his words and deeds and share them with future generations.

Children especially grasp his devotion to, and love for, American ideals. I conversed with some 5th graders about MLK’s work and we openly discussed our own visions of equality, freedom and the meaning of brotherly love. I was astounded by their mature, in-depth understanding of King’s message and was grateful they shared their ambitions for themselves, their family, and the world they live in.

Almost all the kids expressed the desire to spend more time with their family and a longing for peace between family members - a response I took to heart as a working parent, and often short-tempered mom.

There were a few who were blissfully satisfied.

Lee said his “family is okay as it is.”

Emily announced, “I don’t dream for my family. It is already perfect. I can’t dream of something better.”

Alex took the concept of family global. “One day in Alabama, everyone will hold hands, not just African Americans, but white people too. Freedom, peace, togetherness and love is what he wanted, not fighting. [He] wanted the world to be a family.”

Zach discussed King’s strive for justice. “He wanted to have everything be fair. He didn’t care if you were white or African American. He wanted to have the same schools, bathrooms and other things.”

Nora has lofty aspirations for herself as well as the world. “I dream of becoming an independent woman and inventing a teleporter. I have a dream that the world will one day afford a house for everyone, no matter how poor they are.”

Future financier Brian saw the economic side of King. “I dream that the world [would have] a more efficient economy so people don’t end up poor and having to owe money to other people and the bank.”

Sasha included profound and heartfelt objectives for her school, herself and the world. “I dream that my school would be 100 percent bully-free so I won’t be picked on by classmates again,” she said. “I dream the world would be safer and a better place with no more guns that are made to murder people. There should be a law that guns are only for hunting animals to make food and clothing.”

Taylor is also concerned about bullies. “I have a dream for my school and that is that people will not be bullied because of what they are wearing or how they look.”

One student’s heart-wrenching confession left a strong and lasting impression. “I have a dream that I would eat less and become skinny and that I would not have Asperger’s syndrome and I am always good at school.”

I hope these brave and sincere students have encouraged you to converse with your family, discuss hopes and dreams and strive for peace at home and beyond. Martin Luther King’s words of hope, love and freedom are worth studying, reflecting and discussing and so are the dreams of children.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE BIG CHRISTMAS WISHES

I recently spent time with a first-grade class that was made up of mainly low-income, Hispanic kids. The school was within a few miles of Atherton, one of the wealthiest neighborhood in California.

 

We were discussing the upcoming holidays and the students were expectedly shy when one boisterous boy yelped, “I can’t wait for Santa!” The climate immediately changed. All the students sparkled with thoughts and anticipation of Santa’s visit. Their lists to Santa included exactly what you would expect. One bright-eyed little girl requested a toy puppy for Christmas, which was followed by three other students promptly jumping up and exclaiming they wanted, “REAL puppies!”  A timid boy murmured he wanted a “pumcuter.” His neighbor quickly came to his aid articulating, “He means COMputer.” This gave rise to many requests for iPads and Xboxes. Two kids asked for Chapstick, causing me to notice many dry little lips. Other wishes by these wiggly, silly six year olds included a horse, a thousand dollars, and a fairy doll. One smiley, brown-eyed girl asked specifically for “a Hispanic fairy doll.” Every appeal was followed by nods and giggles.

Their desires were not exclusively self-centered. They also spoke of their hopes and desires for the people they loved, mom being at the top of the list. When talking about their families, they visibly became calmer and serene, many whispering their requests. The reverence for their families was palatable.

A student with special education needs wanted me to know he was very satisfied with his own situation but put in an appeal for his brother. "My Christmas wish is for Santa to bring my little brother presents because I already have enough." A little girl named Gabriella - she loudly spelled out her name so there was no confusion - wished that her sister could walk. I was struck with concern but my worries were assuaged when I discovered that Gabrialla’s sister just turned one.

Kaley wanted help for her mom, “so she could buy food.” Martin wanted to give his sister a necklace and Luis wanted a chair for his dad. Roberta wanted to help her mom make cupcakes and Alexander wanted to buy his mom flowers. Aylin, Alexa, and Maria all wanted a car for their moms.

Clearly these energetic, animated and bright young children have well thought out aspirations for themselves and their loved ones. These kids, who have very little, give to the world all that money can’t buy. I took with me their enthusiasm for life and optimism for the future and left feeling very much the spirit of Christmas. If you are in need of more holiday cheer and wish to be lifted to happy heights and filled with love and compassion, there is plenty to be had and it’s free for the taking. Simply talk to a child about their hopes and dreams.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

WAYS TO WANE THE WINTER DAYS

If you and your family are embarking on a Mediterranean cruise for the holidays, Bon Voyage! No need to read further. However, if you’re worried about the down time between family gatherings and wondering how to keep the kids out of trouble, here are a few educational and philanthropic pursuits.

First, check in with your child’s teacher to see if there is any extra credit or make up work to be done over the break. Often, teachers have ready-made packets for just such occasions. Even if the kids are pulling all A’s, going above and beyond the call of duty, especially scholastically, is a life skill that will no doubt pay off in the future. If there is a certain area of academic need, ask the teacher for specific supplemental material.

Make an “if bored” list, including assignments like: floors to mop, homework to complete, letters to write, people to call, neighbors to visit, books to read.

Ask the kids to take a walk around the neighborhood, playground, or church and pick up trash. For an entrepreneurial jaunt, hand out 25 cents for each piece of rubbish collected.

There are many benefits to learning a foreign language. It improves mental development, opens doors to other cultures, gives students a head start in language requirements for high school and college and increases job opportunities. You may consider buying language-learning software, or better yet, check out materials from your local library. There are also online sites that offer language assistance. Of course no one becomes fluent overnight, but the extra, unclaimed study time may be sufficient to peak interest in becoming bilingual.

Playing a musical instrument is also both good for the head and heart. If interest is aroused and ample practice time is available, playing may become an enjoyable habit. Even if your rock star wannabe does not become the next Bon Jovi, studies have shown that playing music can significantly enhance the brain.

Teens can start a temporary babysitting service. Call some working parents in the neighborhood and ask if they need help with the kids over winter break. A CPR class will compliment this endeavor. The American Heart Association website, www.heart.org has a list of classes, including ones online.

Volunteering is an opportune way to meet new people and develop new skills besides sending positive messages about taking part and giving back. For a plethora of groups in the Bay Area, go to http://www.volunteerinfo.org/.  Keep it simple and ask an elderly neighbor if they need help walking their dog, cleaning their yard, or grocery shopping. The local church or synagogue can also steer you in the right direction.

However you enjoy your holidays, I hope it includes both time with loved ones and learning. In the words of the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.