ALLEVIATE TEST TAKING TENSION

For families around the country, spring means clearing clutter, cleaning the garage, and getting outdoors. For teachers, it means counting down the days to the much-anticipated Spring Break and preparing for the state test.  The annual standardized state test has become more and more tied to a child’s progress, their class placement, and a teacher’s perceived performance. It even affects real estate prices. In the near future, these test scores may decide school funding and teacher salaries. As a result of this growing pressure, more time, money, and energy is being expended on preparing for these types of high stakes test.

Kids are bogged down with simulated practice tests and much of the work can be tedious. However, parents can help alleviate some of the stress brought on by these wearisome tasks and help their children perform better on standardized tests, which, like it or not, students will be taking many times for many years to come.

The best preparation of course is to encourage your children to be life-long learners both in and out of the classroom. That means doing simple things like listening and following directions, reading, and doing homework. Your children’s teacher has most likely been doing test preparation in school so you can help with easing anxiety and boosting confidence at home.

It sounds obvious, but make up tests are cumbersome, so make sure your children are in school and on time during the testing session. Do not plan any doctor or dental appointments on test dates. Know how test results are used, and how they will affect your children’s grades or placement. Test dates and all other information can be obtained from school and should be on the school website.

Be a cheerleader! It’s crucial that you communicate to your children that you believe in them. Without adding pressure, motivate your children to do well on the test and to listen carefully to all test-taking directions. Also, encourage them to ask questions about any directions that are unclear.  Make sure your children eat a healthy breakfast and, of course, get plenty of sleep the night before. A shower in the morning will freshen mind, body, and spirit. Having a pleasant morning will eliminate any added concerns and allow your children to focus while taking the test.

If your children are overly anxious, give them a few calming tips to use while testing. If frazzled, imagine a favorite place. Focusing on something else clears the head. Tuck a small token into a pocket. Nothing distracting, just a special coin, or sticker will suffice Suggest taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Then take shorter breaths in between passages or sections of the test – counting only to three. These simple exercises are fast, simple and really work.

Empowering yourself and your children before test taking will lead to a more pleasant testing experience, and hopefully higher scores, so send your tough test taker to school with a full tummy, clean body and confident self.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

  

MORE CYBER-SAFETY

 

Why do I keep harping on the dangers of the cyberworld? These sobering statistics may explain.

• According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, cyberbullying victims consider suicide about twice as often as victims of physical bullying.
• The National Institutes of Health has reported a stronger link to depression in youths from cyberbullying than any other form of bullying.

• Victims often don't tell parents or other authority figures about this type of bullying out of fear their Internet access or cell phone could be taken away.

An alarming amount of cyberbullying happens during online gaming.

Since my knowledge of gaming is very limited, I turned to an expert. Michael Fertik is the CEO and founder of Reputation.com. Reputation.com is headquartered in Redwood City, California and helps businesses and consumers control their online lives.

“One reason why we’re seeing the rise of cyberbullying is because technology is on the side of the perpetrator and not the victim.” He said, “Tools to attack are more sophisticated and so are searches, with social networks fundamentally serving as broadcast services.”

I asked Michael some questions regarding this fairly new form of bullying.

What does aggressive behavior or online bullying look like? What should parents look for?

There's a range of symptoms and behavior that come into play with aggressive and bullying behavior online. For example, bullying can revolve around anti-gay insults; this is particularly prevalent among boys. It can also take the form of racial slurs.

One thing parents can look out for is excessive, bordering on obsessive, social networking. Sometimes victims of bullying will spend hours online reading all of the insults, just waiting for the next one. It goes against conventional wisdom, but it's part of what makes cyberbullying more dangerous.

What online games are most susceptible to bully behavior?

Xbox Live is one of the most popular online gaming systems. With more than 20 million users logging on each day, it may not be uncommon to cross paths with an overly aggressive player. To greatly reduce risk of online harassment, avoid overly familiar contact with people you meet via competition-intense games such as the "Call of Duty" series. Trash-talking and other aggressive behavior may be more likely to occur, due to the first-person shooter viewpoint and its overall violent theme; avoiding offline contact can help reduce the risk that “trash talk” will turn into something more serious.

What, if any, are California’s cyberbullying laws?

California does have a cyberbullying law on the books. Assembly Bill 86 2008 gives principals the ability to suspend students or recommend them for expulsion if the student has engaged in bullying behavior in school or outside of school, with a special clarification for cyberbullying.

The bill had registered support from the California Teachers Association.

Michael’s final piece of advice - “Ideally, your kids will answer all of your questions openly and honestly. Unfortunately, anyone who has spent any time around teens knows that the perception of privacy is incredibly important. That’s why it is important to consider investing in computer monitoring tools.”

I may be naïve, but I also believe the golden rule can apply well here, remind your kids to be ethical at all times, and when playing in cyberspace, to treat fellow gamers the way they themselves would like to be treated.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

HAIL TO THE CHIEFS

Monday, February 19^th,  we celebrate President’s Day. It is a time to reflect on the achievements of all our presidents and, in particular, say happy birthday to George Washington (February 22^nd) and Abraham Lincoln (February 12^th ).  Many focus on the economic influence of this three-day weekend - a time of special deals and sales, especially on cars. While I can’t tell you which car to purchase, I can offer some erudition learned from the 45 men who have attained the highest office.

Whatever you think about our current or past presidents, there is no refuting it is a difficult post to obtain. The legal requirements are outlined in Section 1 of Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution:

“No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”

Hence, if you are 35 or older, were born in America and have lived here for at least 14 years, you’re eligible to run for office. If you want to win, however, you may consider these political statistics and pointers.

Consider a law degree. Twenty-six of the last forty-five have been lawyers.

Start raising money - a lot of money! “Obama for America” the fundraising phenomena that powered Obama’s ascent to the presidency raised 650 million by Election Day. This enabled him to out advertise and out-staff the McCain campaign by about 2 to 1. Although Clinton raised more money, 1.4 billion to Trumps 957 million, he was still able to secure the presidency.

Get strategic. Popularity is not enough. You’ll need to win the majority of Electoral College votes, not the popular vote. There are 538 electoral votes, and you need 270 of them to become president. Since the official election on November 8^th, Trump has won 61,900,651 popular votes. However, 63,620,704 Americans voted for Hilary.

Join the military. A whopping 36 of our 45 presidents have served. Donald Trump, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton did not. Nor did any president from 1909 (Taft) to 1945 (Roosevelt). Roosevelt was, however, very much involved in World War I. He served as Assistant Secretary of the Navy in France. And, he was our president during most of World War II. John Quincy Adams did not serve but certainly saw first-hand the horrors of the Revolutionary War. At the tender age of eight, he and his mother Abigail Adams witnessed the Battle of Bunker Hill. Years late he wrote,

“-- I saw with my own eyes those fires, and heard Britannia's thunders in the Battle of Bunker's hill and witnessed the tears of my mother and mingled with them my own, at the fall of Warren a dear friend of my father, and a beloved Physician to me.”

His father, John Adams, was the chairman of the Continental Congress Board of War from 1776 to 1777 and our second president from 1797 to 1801.

Needless to say, Commander-in-Chief is no job for the weak. You will need heart, brains, and a very big pocketbook to become president. Once elected, you will need all three of these assets and much more to navigate the colossal task of running the country.

GREAT MEN WITH GREAT PASSION

Long before they won the highest office, American presidents were trying to win the hearts of their favorite fair maiden. In honor of both Valentine’s Day and President’s Day, let’s look at the softer side of a few of our more romantic Commanders-in-Chief.

Letters were lifelines for Abigail Adams who was forced to endure long periods of separation from her husband John. For over three decades they shared their political concerns and professed their love for each other through the mail. As was the custom of the time, they adopted pen names. John wrote ardently to his Diana, the Roman goddess of the moon, often addressing the letters “Dear Miss Adorable.” In a letter dated April 20^th, 1763, he sounds more like a lovesick teenager than a Revolutionist. “I begin to find that an increasing affection for a certain lady, (you know who my Dear) quickens my affections for everybody else…”

It would seem that Letitia Christian had a somewhat formal courtship with her future husband and 10^th president, John Tyler. He once wrote to a friend that Letitia was always so “reserved and modest” that he did not dare to kiss even her hand until a few weeks before the wedding. Once he had won her heart, he relayed his delight for the acquisition. ”To think of you and to write to you are the only sources from whence I can derive any real satisfaction...Indeed, I do esteem myself most rich in possessing you.”

Woodrow Wilson courted Edith Galt while still mourning the death of his first wife.  They were married soon after they met and their quick courtship scandalized Washington society. That didn’t stop his heartfelt praise, “You are more wonderful and lovely in my eyes than you ever were before; and my pride and joy and gratitude that you should love me with such a perfect love are beyond all expression, except in some great poem which I cannot write.”

Harry Truman was smitten with Bess Wallace from the moment he laid eyes on her in Sunday school. He doggedly pursued her for seven years. His love letters, like his politics, were very straightforward. “I suppose that I am too crazy about you anyway. Every time I see you I get more so if it is possible. I know I haven’t any right to but there are certain things that can’t be helped and that is one of them. I wouldn’t help it if I could you know.”

Lyndon Johnson was so taken with his “Lady Bird” Claudia Taylor that he proposed almost immediately. His love-struck countenance is evident in a concise correspondence written one crisp Washington, DC day. “This morning I’m ambitious, proud, energetic and very madly in love with you.”

Ronald Reagan frequently wrote letters of love to his wife, Nancy. She especially looked forward to the ones she received on their anniversary. This is from his letter to her on March 4, 1983. “Still this is the day, the day that marks 31 years of such happiness as comes to few men. I told you once that it was like an adolescent’s dream of what marriage should be like. That hasn’t changed…I more than love you, I’m not whole without you. You are life itself to me. When you are gone I’m waiting for you to return so I can start living again.”

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

For Whom the Bell Tolls” is a poem by John Donne, part of which reads, “No man is an island, entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main “… Each man’s death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind. Therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”

The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was fond of Donne’s poem and cited it often in his speeches and sermons. He believed strongly that, because of our innate connectedness, “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” He surrounded himself with people like himself: people of integrity, bravery, drive, and determination.

King was not an island, and he required much from his friends — the men with whom he worked, prayed and went to jail. So, why take a look at the people with whom King kept company?
Ralph Abernathy was pastor of the First Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama. He and King organized a protest against bus segregation in 1955 after Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man. They also helped form the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, a civil rights organization that adopted the motto, “Not one hair of one head of one person should be harmed.” In the next few years, Abernathy was arrested 19 times. His autobiography, And the Walls Came Tumbling Down, was published in 1989. He died on April 17, 1990.

In 1955 Andrew Young accepted a pastorate at Bethany Congregational Church in Thomasville, Georgia. Like King, he studied Mohandas Gandhi’s concept of nonviolent resistance as a tactic for social change. Also like King, he faced numerous death threats for encouraging Black people to stand up for their constitutional and civil rights. In 1972, he became Georgia’s first African-American congressman since Reconstruction. In 1976, President Jimmy Carter appointed him ambassador to the United Nations. Young wrote several books, including, A Way Out of No Way: The Spiritual Memoirs of Andrew Young and An Easy Burden: The Civil Rights Movement and the Transformation of America.

Clarence Jones was King’s legal adviser and speechwriter. It was Jones who delivered the famed “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” to the clergy in Birmingham in 1963, gaining national attention for the civil rights movement. Jones said of his friend Martin, “Except for Abraham Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863, Martin Luther King Jr., in 12 years and four months from 1956 to 1968, did more to achieve political, economic and social justice in America than any other event or person in the previous 400 years. His writings include, Behind the Dream: The Making of the Speech that Transformed a Nation, and What Would Martin Say?

Because on January 15^th we celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. and because February is Black History Month, it is altogether appropriate to learn about the people who struggled and sacrificed side by side with Dr. King. We, too, are influenced by the people with whom we choose to associate, and certainly our children are influenced by their friends. Therefore, we can ask ourselves: Are we surrounding ourselves with people determined to advance equality, peace, and justice? Are our children?

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

NEW BEGINNINGS

With the New Year is fast approaching, millions of adults are making a myriad of resolutions. Among the most popular in America are: losing weight, getting fit, quitting smoking and saving money. These are all honorable goals. However, kid’s priorities and ambitions are also worth reflection.

I sat down with a class of eighth graders and we spoke about their New Year resolutions. I was happily surprised to find that these teenagers are not the materialist mongrels they are often perceived to be. They are not tricked by magazine advertisements and television reality shows that insist happiness results from being thin, rich and narcissistic. 

They have incorporated the words of the wise Benjamin Franklin, “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.” 

Almost all said they wanted to do better academically, even the A students! Jennifer’s resolution is “to improve in math, writing and drawing.”  Sydney said she wanted to “start doing her science homework.”  Taylor wanted to “get at least a 3.9 grade point average so I can make my family proud and get rewarded.” Jonah wanted to, “stay on the honor roll.” What a bunch of overachievers!

Justin, like many of us, is self-conscious and his goal is to overcome his anxiety. “My New Year’s resolution is to not care what people say and think anymore. Right now, I care what people say and think about me when I do something. Like, if my brother or sister make fun of me, it gets under my skin and bothers me, so in 2017, I want to be able to just let it slide off my back.” What a world it would be if none of us worried about petty gossip or grappled with misrepresentations.

Marissa, a very shy girl, wrote down, “My New Year’s resolution is to be more confident. Confidence will help me succeed. I want to feel better about how I look, and be more outspoken; maybe even make new friends. This will help me be surer of my decisions.” I think all of us can benefit from this counsel.

Boisterous Stepahnie wants to be more patient and have more self-control. “This is because I get in trouble a lot for ‘not holding my tongue’.” I know my life would be more peaceful if a few of my family members heeded this pledge.

Blake, who was recently reprimanded for being a bully, learned from his mistake. “My New Year’s resolution is to be nicer to people and understand their point of view. I want to do this because I don’t like being mean to people. When I’m mean to people, they think I’m a jerk.” Wise words from a young man who learned a valuable lesson.

One lucrative advantage to all these chivalrous resolutions – they don’t cost a dime! You don’t need to invest in expensive workout equipment, spend a fortune on worthless diet pills or buy Nicorette gum.

Whatever your resolution, I wish you fortitude and perseverance in your pursuits and may you be blessed with a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2018.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.

TAKING TIME FOR A TETE-A-TETE

A new year has almost begun and resolutions are being contemplated and if you are anything like me, they will soon be broken. I do, however,  have a resolution that all of us can keep and may be more fruitful than loosing ten pounds.

Teachers sometimes send home brief questionnaires or have students fill out a short survey regarding their interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. I figured, why shouldn’t parents have the same advantage? Why not take a little time for a tete-a-tete with my school-aged child and find out what’s on her mind?

Whether five or fifteen, eliciting ideas and feelings from children isn’t easy. Very young children have difficulty articulating their thoughts and teenagers would prefer to text their itinerary rather than try to explain their ever-changing emotions.

However, one common denominator for all kids and parents is school. So, while out to lunch or walking in the park, you may want to commence the conversation with life around campus.

Standardized test scores have become the seminal aspect of education. Teacher’s reputations, school funding, and even real estate prices are greatly influenced by these numbers. However, there are other parts of school that are – dare I say - more important. Being a Brainiac is great, but being personable and well rounded also leads to future happiness and success.

During your special heart-to-heart talk, ask about favorite friends and teachers and reasons for those choices. Hopefully you are familiar with most or all of them. If not, it’s time to make their acquaintance. They, no doubt, have a substantial influence on your child.

Also, ask who is difficult to befriend and again, get an explanation. Discover who are the jocks, bullies, teacher’s pets, social butterflies, class clowns and troublemakers. This will not only give you information about classmates, but also classroom discipline policies and the school environment in general. You may even get a couple of chuckles listening to the antics and escapades of your kid’s class.

Allude to favorite subjects and discuss why they are interesting. I’m sure you have a pretty good idea from the report card, but questions along these lines will encourage dialogue about the love and challenges of academic life.

Solicit one aspect of school that should be changed. Wanting more physical education, recess or better lunches are typical, but stories of bullies, difficulty with teachers, or a particular subject may need intervention.

Don’t forget to add a few of your own anecdotes from days past. Kids love to hear about how mom had trouble with Algebra or dad won the spelling bee.

All of this doesn’t have to take place in one sitting. The goal is to spend more time together empathizes with one another and enjoying each other’s company throughout the year.

May you have a healthy, happy 2018 spending lots of time with your loquacious loved ones.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.