TAKING TIME FOR A TETE-A-TETE

A new year has almost begun and resolutions are being contemplated and if you are anything like me, they will soon be broken. I do, however,  have a resolution that all of us can keep and may be more fruitful than loosing ten pounds.

Teachers sometimes send home brief questionnaires or have students fill out a short survey regarding their interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. I figured, why shouldn’t parents have the same advantage? Why not take a little time for a tete-a-tete with my school-aged child and find out what’s on her mind?

Whether five or fifteen, eliciting ideas and feelings from children isn’t easy. Very young children have difficulty articulating their thoughts and teenagers would prefer to text their itinerary rather than try to explain their ever-changing emotions.

However, one common denominator for all kids and parents is school. So, while out to lunch or walking in the park, you may want to commence the conversation with life around campus.

Standardized test scores have become the seminal aspect of education. Teacher’s reputations, school funding, and even real estate prices are greatly influenced by these numbers. However, there are other parts of school that are – dare I say - more important. Being a Brainiac is great, but being personable and well rounded also leads to future happiness and success.

During your special heart-to-heart talk, ask about favorite friends and teachers and reasons for those choices. Hopefully you are familiar with most or all of them. If not, it’s time to make their acquaintance. They, no doubt, have a substantial influence on your child.

Also, ask who is difficult to befriend and again, get an explanation. Discover who are the jocks, bullies, teacher’s pets, social butterflies, class clowns and troublemakers. This will not only give you information about classmates, but also classroom discipline policies and the school environment in general. You may even get a couple of chuckles listening to the antics and escapades of your kid’s class.

Allude to favorite subjects and discuss why they are interesting. I’m sure you have a pretty good idea from the report card, but questions along these lines will encourage dialogue about the love and challenges of academic life.

Solicit one aspect of school that should be changed. Wanting more physical education, recess or better lunches are typical, but stories of bullies, difficulty with teachers, or a particular subject may need intervention.

Don’t forget to add a few of your own anecdotes from days past. Kids love to hear about how mom had trouble with Algebra or dad won the spelling bee.

All of this doesn’t have to take place in one sitting. The goal is to spend more time together empathizes with one another and enjoying each other’s company throughout the year.

May you have a healthy, happy 2018 spending lots of time with your loquacious loved ones.

Contact Margaret Lavin at elementarydays@gmail.com.